Yesterday evening, I lost it again. I don't know if it was the constant undermining of my program by others or stress, or the fact that I broke my promise to myself and talked to Tim again. Whatever it was, I ended up finishing up the Medifast bars (3), 2 packs of Medifast crackers, a little bit of corn beef, and a few ounces of ham. Woke up this morning to a 2 lb weight gain, but that's not it. I started off today with ham, and I'm planning a wing escapade. I'm just so stressed. I think I need to try something new, yet I ordered over 300 dollars worth of product yesterday (270 ready to drinks!!). The 270 ready to drinks should last about 3 months since I usually only drink 3 shakes a day, and do soups for the other two meals. My mom is already trying to buy them from me though. Maybe I'll just get her to order her own so we can both take advantage of the sale.
Yeah, but what I was thinking about was doing a 0-carb week to break the monotony of the shakes and this horrible plateau. All lean chicken & fish, with no fat. I cannot stay on plan these days. I'm extremely bored... My attention span is very short, and it's mind boggling to think that I've stayed on plan for this long... I've been on this plan for 95 days, 12 of those days included food, the rest, full fast... I feel as though it might be time for me to move on.... Not sure what to do now...
Updated: Actually, I've made up my mind. Today I will splurge a little, then I will do 1 to 2 weeks of the Stillman Diet (plateau buster). Then I will ease my way back onto the Medifast plan. I will go shopping for the food tonight. Hopefully this isn't the nail that seals my coffin. LOL. On second thought, maybe I can do 3 more days of Medifast (Friday, Sat, Sun) to get back into ketosis and take off the excess weight, then, begin Stillman on Monday? I'm trying to figure out what will give me the maximum loss... Something to think about, because if I jump into Stillman tomorrow, then I might lose some ground in that I didn't have the benefit of starting at a smaller weight? If that makes much sense... We'll see!
In other news... I may not have changed much when it comes to overeating and self sabotoge, but one thing that I've truly changed in (at least for now) is my desire for sugary treats and snacks. I'm no longer interested. The things I want to splurge on are low carb meats, etc. Maybe it's because the shakes had the right amount of sugar to keep me balanced... I'm not sure. All I know is, the thought of buying a nice slice of (fill in the blank) and eating it is pretty much in the same category as eating rat poisoning right now. I hate what it does to me emotionally and physically. Right now, I feel as though I could give those desserts up for life. They're just not worth it.
Yet Another Update... OK, I just did some calculations and see that my period is coming next week! It was just here, was it not?! So that throws a major wrench in my plans. I must abort this mission, and postpone... Full fast until my period goes away. Another benefit to waiting is to squeeze out as much of the effectiveness of Medifast before switching temporarily. The Medifast program has really run out of steam. I bet I'll still be the same weight two weeks from now.
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