Forgiveness

I'm sitting here thinking...

It's funny how some people around me are now encouraging me to eat. My mother actually had the nerve to tell me that I had lost enough and didn't need to lose any more (keep in mind I'm about 5'1", and weighing about 160 pounds!!). Another friend decided that I needed to get medical attention ASAP, because losing 50 lbs so quickly was simply not safe for my heart. Nevermind that I'm 24 in almost perfect health. I'm sure gaining 70 lbs in less than 2 years was OK, and I should have kept it that way?! Yet, these are the same people who couldn't resist informing me about how fat I was getting when I tipped the scales at over 200 pounds.

The bottom line is, I'm all I have. The only person I can depend on to look out for my best interest is myself. With such characters swarming around, its not surprising that I would slip every now and then. I'm not making excuses for myself, because my behavior of late has been unacceptable. But what I'm trying to do, is to forgive myself. I made a mistake. I'm not perfect. Being upset and feeling hopeless will make it that much harder to get back on track. I'm going to dust myself off, get back up, and keep going. I forgive myself.

Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up early and run. I'll try to do that every day this week, but oh well if I don't. I'm not going to keep beating up on myself. I think I've done an excellent job so far. It's going to be OK. This is not a crisis... it will only be one if I make it into one. I can get back on track. Whatever happens, I cannot and will not conduct myself the way Oprah did. This is not the end. This is just life.