Early yesterday morning, I woke up, miserable... wondering how exactly I would get out of this fat-fiasco I've found myself in. You see, last year this time I was 40 pounds slimmer--and at that time I was 20 pounds heavier than I was at the beginning of the year. That equals a 60 pound weight gain in less than two years! On my way up to this point, I had tried several diets here and there but I'd always quit, and of course, the result was always an increase in my size.
Anyway, yesterday, I woke up feeling that same hopelessness. The feeling of--what am I going to do now?? I began reading Oprah's book, "Making The Connection," and I got to the part where she talked about how she went from 237 pounds to 142 pounds in FOUR MONTHS while using the Optifast diet program! She noted how the weight came back with a vengeance though--but I thought--why not me? I can handle it! If I lose the weight I won't f*ck up like Oprah did! This is my last stop. I NEED this! Failure is no longer an option. If I fail at this, I will be resigned to fatdom for all eternity.
The diet supplies will get here by Thursday or Friday. I will document every moment of this fasting experience. I will use it as a spiritual journey, a journey that will hopefully make me a better person inside and out. Stay tuned!
By the way, I will not be posting pictures until I know whether or not this diet works. I'm not ready for the world to see me fat like this. I will post my starting weight on the day when I start the diet.
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