Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The thoughts begin early in the day

And they continue to torment me until I give in. So far I'm on track. I ran like I planned, and I ate a Medifast supplement for breakfast. But I'm already getting cravings for something--anything--from wings to Subway. I will try my best to pray. That's all I can do now... depend on a Higher Power.

I'm completely out of control. Left unchecked, I would find my way back up to 210 and higher. I'm like a crack addict... Struggling through detox. How much easier this might be if I was in a maximum security hospital where Medifast was my only option for food. How will I get past this? At the very least, I want to lose 10 or so pounds before my birthday. Can I at least focus long enough to do that??? One can only hope...

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